As an auditor for two years, I used the word fraud a lot. Right now, that's how I feel. I feel like a fraud. I just can't believe I am FINALLY pregnant!
Kelsey and I have gone baby shopping (just a little) and I feel like I'm pretending. It just seems like for so long I would happen to end up in the baby section and browse around telling myself "I'll look for Harrison," good and well knowing I was fantasizing for myself. So now, I REALLY get to go to the baby section and browse for my own future baby. It's crazy!
When will it feel real??? I went to get blood work yesterday. No appointment. Just blood work. Today I will get the results. I know my tests were positive at home but I have this paralyzing fear that the blood work will come back negative. I'm trying so hard to be positive but Negative Nancy and I have become good friends this past year. Maybe
I know I have to give my fears up to God and place them in His hands. But it's hard when you're a natural worry wart. Just getting to this point has grown my relationship with Him so much and I know the next 8 months will continue to grow me as well. I know until I have that precious, healthy baby in my arms I will be fearing the worst. So my newest commitment will be praying daily for God to take my fears and help me to trust fully in Him.