Tuesday, September 7, 2010

God is Bigger

Writing in the present now, we've been trying to get pregnant for 10 months and been receiving treatment (Metformin/Glumetza) for 6 months. It has been a long journey filled with broken hopes, supportive friends and family, physical and emotional pain, lessons learned, and of course the great advice people give, probably, becasue they just don't know what to say. My favorite of these being (obviously) "just don't think about it."  Now, I know people say this with good intentions, but come on! Let's get real! My entire life is now filled with doctor's appointments, blood tests, "charting," and medication... not to mention this is, with out a doubt, the thing I want most in life! So sure, let me just "not think about it!"

At this point though, I can really laugh at this advice and appreciate someone caring enough to attempt to provide some words of wisdom. And honestly, there is a bright side to all this.

My insulin resistance has improved tremendously (Praise Jesus!). I no longer have to eat constantly which, of course, has resulted in weight loss (and what woman would complain about that?). The downside, the medication also makes you pretty sick (possibly also contributing to the weight loss). Apparently, it takes your body a while to adjust.

At my three month check up with Dr. Wheeler, I had explained to him my symptoms and he was shocked that I had continued the treatment. (Like I said, it can make you pretty sick and I was feeling this everyday for three months!) He actually switched me to the brand name of the medication (Glumetza), which has been known to be softer on the stomach. And, I will say, I have noticed improvement, although it's not 100% better. I feel like it's a small sacrifice to achieve my goal.

Throughout this whole process I've found that it is extremely easy to lose hope and feel alone. But the best thing I've learned from all of this, especially at my weakest moments, is to praise God! Not to praise God inspite of this condition, but to praise God BECAUSE of this condition! This may sound strange, but going through this means it's part of God's plan.  So if it is God's will for me to go through all this to make me the person He wants me to be, baby or no baby, well then, I am thankful for that because God has a plan and it is for good! (Jeramiah 29:11) There's no way for me to fully understand what God has instore for me or exactly why I am going through this, but I TRUST in HIM who works all things for good (Romans 8:28)! God is bigger than PCOS and infertility! Praise Jesus!

4 comments:

  1. I love you no matter what the outcome and you will always be my smookums :)

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  2. Hi Katie! I read your entry on Amy's blog and immediately felt for you when I saw that you have PCOS. I have Severe Endometriosis and PCOS and my husband and I are desperately trying to get pregnant. I have been on two rounds of Clomid and even on Clomid I still cannot ovulate. I also took Metaformin/Glucophage but it affected my blood sugar level and made it drop too low so I had to come off of that.

    I have had four surgeries for the Endo and PCOS and I am still hurting just about every single day. My heart goes out to you because I absolutely know what you are going through. One thing that I have heard more than 100 times is "Just try not to think about it" "Let it happen on its own". I want to slap people when they say that. And at the same time I want to just sit on the floor and cry.

    I am actually working on a post to go along with Amy's post and I am hoping to post it tomorrow. I have been praying about it all week because my story is lengthy and putting things out there for all the world to see, well....it's not easy. But it is through this that we are able to find strength in others who may be going through the same thing. And I am very thankful that I came across your blog and your story.

    I would love to talk more if you'd like. There is so much I can tell you that I don't want to leave in a comment. I could also really use a friend who understands what I am going through. As I'm sure you could too! Stop by my blog(s) and email me if you want!

    Praying for you!
    Amy in GA
    amyrbrooker@hotmail.com
    www.asouthernlove.blogspot.com
    www.findingjoythroughmyjourney.blogspot.com

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