Ugh... Part 2

So after waiting to get my results back from the glucose test, I finally decided to call my doctor's office on Tuesday. My fear was that I would have to take the dreaded 3 hour glucose test. I don't have to. Apparently, my sugar was so high (270) that they diagnosed me with gestational diabetes without having to go back for another test. Ugh.

I'm relieved that I didn't have to take the 3 hour test (especially if it was going to tell them the same thing) but part of me feels like maybe if I would have taken it, my results would have been better since my first test wasn't a fasting test (wishful thinking???).

I'll be honest, after getting the news I had a complete emotional breakdown. We've had a lot go on during this pregnancy that's made it tough to fully enjoy. And I REALLY want to FULLY enjoy this pregnancy... the thing I've wanted for so long.

One of my initial emotions was guilt. Maybe if I had eaten better or exercised more I could have prevented this (later disproved by the learned fact that gestational diabetes just happens to some pregnant women and is caused by hormones). After researching my treatment (a VERY strict diet) my emotions went straight to anger. I had myself a pitty party thinking of how unfair it is that I can't be like other pregnant women and occasionally indulge in delicious treats. (After starting Metformin last March, I had lost my appetite almost completely... not to mention being very sick for the first few months. Then I was still on the meds through my first trimester which helped suppress my appetite... along with the pregnancy nausea. But when my second trimester hit, it was like I was discovering food for the first time! Only to have it taken away.)

After processing the diagnosis for a couple of days, I started to deal with it better. Part of me is glad that I'm forced to follow such a strict and healthy diet because I don't always do the best at eating healthy and this gives me no choice. And really, when I'm at home, it's pretty easy. It's when we're out and we want to grab a quick bite or around other people indulging in delicious foods. I know it is just food. But for some reason, food has always been almost a source of entertainment for me. I LOVE going out to eat and look forward to it. So it's been kind of a rollercoaster of emotions... from appreciative for my new healthy eating habits to pouty because I can't have dessert... or chips... or sweet tea...

But more than anything, I'm thankful for this baby girl and I will do what it takes to keep her healthy. I know she is worth the sacrifice. The good news is, Jeff and I will be taking a 4 hour class next week which should explain everything. I know once I have more information I will feel better.