True Shock

{This post was written November 16}

Shock. That's what I feel right now. I know that you will be reading this at least a couple of weeks from now but I needed to document this moment. For the last week, I did the unthinkable. I got my hopes up. I didn't want to, but as much as I tried not to, it just happened. My boobs have been KILLING me and I've been cramping every night like clockwork. I've had nausea at night too but I always have nausea. (These were all my best friends first signs when she found out she was pregnant with both babies.) I just KNEW this felt different. But let's face it, this could also just mean I'm about to get my monthly visit.

I've been putting everything in God's hands and praying daily for HIS will regardless of what that means, but for the last week or so, I whole heartedy meant it and felt a complete trust in Him like never before. Today was day 29 of my cycle. I had convinced myself not to take a test until Saturday which would be day 33. But the symptoms were just eating away at me. I needed to know sooner. So that was that. I would take a test tomorrow, day 30 of my cycle. Reasonable.

I spent my second day as a domestic engineer with Kelsey. I've been excited to have more time to do more domestic things like cook and clean so I had a new recipe planned for dinner. Jeff and I went to get his haircut so by the time we got home, it was getting late, Jeff was starving and we were at each others throats. (To add to my symptoms, I've been a little hormonal and irritable this last week.) I had to pee so bad but I wanted to get dinner done. So once it was in the oven, I went to take care of business.

I'm not sure what possessed me. I hate peeing on a stick. (Considering I was 0 for 100 by now) But I ripped one open and went for it. I always just know it will be negative but still get my hopes up. This time was different. I really felt good about it. Normally I squint so hard trying to make sure there is no sign of a second pink line but there was no squinting. I watched as two faint pink lines began to appear and turn bold. I was shaking and crying hysterically in disbelief. My first thoughts were PRAISE JESUS!!! And trust me, I let Him know.

Now, Jeff had no idea I went to take a test. So how should I tell him? I composed myself, walked into the kitchen where he was standing at the counter on the computer. I starred at him for a moment and then set the test on the counter. I think he was shocked. We embraced. I was still in utter shock so I didn't know what to do. Jeff said he felt excitement and then an instant wave of fear. I thought that was so sweet and such a male reaction.

Who even cares about dinner now?!?! Who do we tell first? Do we tell them tonight? I had thought out so many creative ways to tell people but I just didn't care. We went over to Kelsey's first. Rick had class so he wasn't home yet. I decided not to call her first. I just knocked on her door and when she answered I just held up the test. She instantly started balling and, in Jeff's words, attacked me! We squeezed each other so tight. That was one of those moments where I felt so blessed for such an amazing friend. A friend that knew all that I had been through and was truly elated for me. (I love you Kels!!!)

After some crying, laughing, hugging, and googling pregnancy calendars, Jeff and I left for stop number 2, my parents house. I called to tell them to open the back door and when we walked in, I showed them the test. My mom didn't have her contacts in so she was confused at first! (Ha!) But once she realized we started hugging and crying. My dad and sis were also very happy for us. Next was Jeff's parent's house. Similar story, two wonderful parents very happy for us!

What a day. It still hasn't sunk in and I'm not sure when it will. I don't know what to think other than PRAISE GOD! He is amazing and His timing is perfect!